November 14th, 2009 marked the 3 year anniversay of my Mother’s sudden and untimely passing. While my Mother was sick, nothing of Her condition was terminal and She was taken from us much too soon, having only spent 52 short years on this plane. This is the first time in these three years that I have felt comfortable, nay even found it necessary to write about this most sad event.
The loss of my Mother was for me the most singularly painful and sorrowful event of my then 28 years on the planet. 3 years later and the pain remains almost as fresh. I am told by those that have suffered through similar losses that these monumental feelings will last a lifetime, dulling little with the passing years. The thought of enduring this lasting pain does not discomfort me as it allows me to recognize the enormous love I have for my Mother, such that not having Her with me in this life can cause such pain.
It is always my plan to remain busy this time of the year, keeping my mind occupied with important work and trivial daily tasks as a buffer to the emotions that are so difficult to deal with. This is my defense; I know none other. I really should talk to others more about this, and perhaps this marks my entry into this new endeavour. I find it interesting that my family does not directly discuss this event. We remember fondly good times and memories of Mom throughout the year but no specifics about Her passing. I guess my family is only as ready as I am to communicate this event, which is completely acceptable and totally understandable. As for me, I want to say how much I love my Mother, how tragically I mourn Her passing, and how I will think of Her everyday of my life.
I love you, Mom.
Cameron's space 
I leave this comment a year after your post and wonder how it is for you now. For me, it goes like this…With the passing of time the pain has eased itself into a grouping of my best memories of the years with my Mom. But it never really goes away; rather, it settles just beneath my heart where it reaches out once in a while and steals my breath away as I experience moments of deja vu, smelling her scent or glimpsing a passerby who might resemble her. They are bittersweet moments indeed that I both cherish and dread. I do hope time has been kinder to you.
You’re experience seems to parallel mine exactly. My world imploded that day, and I had no idea how to recover. Time and patience seem to be the only solution. There are those times when a situation brings forth an immediate memory (the smell of her perfume on someone else, a sunflower standing proud, a movie on television that we watched together), and I freeze in my immediate surrounding fondly recalling her and our times together. And there are other much less favorable times of bitter anger and despair recalling her loss. Thankfully the latter have become less frequent, and when they do come I’ve learned to combat them by replacing these thoughts with the beautiful memories I have, and the timeless love for her that I will keep forever.
Thank you for sharing with me. It helps to know that others have similar experiences, in which a true understanding of the situation can be shared.